Life As A Fire Wife

Every time I think of the word time, I want to cue Hootie and the Blowfish, “Time.” I don’t know what it is lately, but time has seemed impossibly hard to come by. Time itself is always moving. Right now, it is 5:32 am, but it only stays that way for 60 seconds. It is already 5:33. Ok, we all know that there are 60 seconds in 1 minute, so where am I going with this? I don’t even know; I’m not used to writing this early! Kidding/not kidding. While I’m not used to writing this early, I do know where I’m going with this even if my brain is a little foggy and my eyes are droopy.

Lately, I’ve been doing all the usual stuff. Getting up, getting my shower, reading my bible and praying, doing the hair, doing the daily house chores, taking care of my people, taking the dog for a walk, doing the mom things, the wife things, and yet time has escaped me to do much else. Like, I have legit felt at different times during the day that I don’t even have time to spare to write or workout or read or craft…Last week was tricky as it was school break, I squeezed in what I could while I found myself constantly on the go. But this week combined with actually this whole month has been rather difficult and with hubby taking a class on his days off an hour and a half away 2-3 days a week this month from 8-5 I have had no back-up and no break. When I start to feel this way about not having enough time in the day, I honestly start to feel a little down. I truly have a to do list that is just not getting done. Yesterday I had to stop myself in my tracks and stop those thoughts that were cycling through my head about not doing anything and remind myself what I did do. I showered(yay), ate, emptied dishwasher, loaded dishwasher, bandaged up Logan when he fell at the bus stop(as the bus was arriving) and drove him to school, took care of a sick Evan, gave a friend a ride, coordinated having some of Logan’s friends over to play in the yard, took the pup for a walk, picked up Christopher from school to drive him to track, walked with a friend, picked Christopher back up from track, took April for another walk, made dinner, threw in some self-care and did a yoga for my aching back, watched Matea win on Jeopardy again, did devotions with my family, read to Logan, cried through This Is Us, and probably more. Yeah, I did a lot. And as parents, heck as adults, we can’t disregard the mundane. The mundane is what keeps our homes going. I read a meme recently that said something like, the kitchen will always need to be cleaned, whether you make a meal or order take out.” A few weeks ago, I was getting annoyed that my people would come home and dump their stuff in the kitchen, so I turned into drill sergeant and was constantly ordering them to pick up their stuff and put it in their rooms. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely want my home to be clean and orderly (especially since it is a smaller home), but I also want a home that is lived in, loved in, and welcoming, not just to outsiders, but to my own family. I moved on to gentle reminders about where to keep their things instead of hounding orders and that has proven way more effective.

Any ways, yes, it is the daily, the mundane that has been weighing me down. But alas, these are not things I can give up, though I have given some of the mundane out as daily chores. I no longer do the litter box, take out the trash or recycling, or empty the drying rack, I do however need to remind each of my precious children to do them, even if they are their daily chores, daily, every day. So, what else can I do? It is not a matter of escaping the mundane. It comes back once again to managing my time better. I’ve blogged about time management before as I’m not very good at it, but oh my heart, I try! I sit down on Sunday nights with my 7-day dry erase board and write down all the activities and appointments and schedule writing time. But when it comes down to it, too many other forces come in to play that push my precious writing time to the back burner during the daytime hours. So, do I just write when I am able? Well, then how can I be a writer if I can’t write? Just as my firefighter makes sacrifices every time he goes to work as it is his duty and the nature of his job, so must I make them in order to be able to do things. So, in order for me not to sit and wallow in the mundane, I made a decision yesterday to set my alarm for 5am, which lasted for a hot minute before I changed it to 5:15, to sacrifice a little extra sleep for a little extra writing time. Because uninterrupted, quiet writing time is important to me. There are many things I can do while it is not quiet, when I can get interrupted, and writing is not one of them. Because even if this is the only time I get today to write, then at least I can say, today I made time to write. Even if nobody reads my words, even if it has zero impact on anyone’s day, it is an important step for me in my fire wife, writer’s life, to make this sacrifice to pursue my writing.

Do you struggle with time management? What is holding you back? What can you make more time for in your day? What changes do you need to make? Do you need to give something up in order to make time for something that is more important to you? I’d love to hear about it. Please leave me a comment and tell me what you are working on. Have a great day!