Life As A Fire Wife

“A little Consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference,” Eeyore

Selfish-lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with ones own personal profit or pleasure. (Definition from Oxford Languages)

This week I have been working on a different blog entirely, than what was on my heart this morning. So rather than going with my original plan, something I have been writing in ink all week, I think I need to give some brain space to what is currently on my mind. I was just looking up Winnie the Pooh quotes on friendship, as that bear has said some of the wisest things that have ever been said and I came across the one that is above(said by Eeyore), “A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference,”

Humans can be so selfish, am I right? We are constantly thinking about ourselves, what we deserve, what will make us feel good, what we want and how we pretty much always want it now. I have to be careful with my words right now, as I used to so freely write about my kids when they were small, now they are teenagers(2/3) and though they don’t follow me and I don’t send them my blogs, I know it can be easily accessible. Instead I will write in a more general way, so pardon me if this seems a little more impersonal at times.

Last night when we were getting ready to have an evening out as a family, 1/5 of my family was having a hard time with the evenings required attire. This did not go well and unfortunately it hung a little, black rain cloud (I’m all about the Pooh Bear today) over the evening, for me at least. Because while I was convicted of my child’s selfishness in his words and his actions, I had not yet been convicted of my selfishness in not being able to let it go. I think sometimes we can be selfish and not even realize we are being selfish. As I reflect back on the evening, I don’t think he thought of his actions as selfish, at all. I guess that is the problem with selfishness though, is that when we are being selfish, we are only thinking of ourselves and not giving consideration towards others.

This morning, I woke up and I was still upset with the child and the evening. There are far bigger problems in the world, truly and honestly. So why couldn’t I let it go? SELFISHNESS. At this point, here I am focused on me, and while I think he is to blame because of his words and his actions, and how that all put a damper on the evening, I could make the choice to move on and let it go. It’s crazy isn’t it, that I still have so much to learn as an adult. I still have so much growing to do. This side of heaven, I’ll never be perfect and I’ll always be a work in progress, there is great comfort in that. But as I sit here and think about my kids and the disappointment I felt over the words and the actions, I have to stop and think, “if I will never be perfect this side of heaven, why am I expecting my kids to be?” Ouch, my brain just exploded. But that is what it feels like this morning. Once we moved past the wardrobe issue, perhaps we could have prayed. Perhaps there could have been apologies. Perhaps there could have been patience. Perhaps there could have been grace. Perhaps next time this can happen. Perhaps today, in my time with the Lord, I need to spend some time searching my heart and my expectations. It is not wrong to inform my people of what they need to wear, but it is wrong and prideful of me to think that just because I say something that they do it without issues. I want them to just do it, what parent doesn’t, but why? What are my expectations? Do I want them to just do it so it will be easier for me? YES! That we can get out of the house on time and that everyone looks nice and I can take a picture to show off my beautiful and well-behaved children. YES! Do I want them to just do it so it won’t cause disruption in my life or add unnecessary stress. YES! Am I at all concerned with their growth as human beings in this very moment and how this could be a lesson in life, even something that seems so silly and unimportant. Yes? I mean in hindsight, yes but in the moment a big heck no! My kids growth did not even cross my mind in that moment. My brain just exploded again, it’s getting sloppy around here. My kids, your kids, all kids need to make mistakes. They need to mess up. They need to go in the wrong direction sometimes to help them to figure out the right direction. As parents, as hard as it is, we need to let them. We need to let them make mistakes so they can grow. And we need to be there offering grace and forgiveness. We need to be their safe place to land. I made a lot of mistakes as a teenager. A LOT! I didn’t have anyone really pointing me in the right direction, extending grace, or giving me a safe place to land. My mistakes were my own. I regret so many of them, but, I’m learning to have grace and forgiveness for myself for my past. And as much as I want to protect my kids from making mistakes like I did, it would probably do more harm than good.

So as this day draws to a close, I’m thankful for God’s grace and forgiveness. I’m thankful that I have a loving savior who sees beyond my mistakes. I’m thankful that our choices don’t define us. I’m thankful for second chances (and third and fourth and fifth…), I’m thankful for the wise words of Winnie the Pooh. I’m thankful for conviction and mind-blowing moments. I’m thankful that God’s mercies are new every morning.

Because of the Lord’s faithful love we do not perish, for his mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness! I say, “The Lord is my portion, therefore I will put my hope in him.” Lamentations 3:22-24)