Mom guilt… it’s quite a universal feeling isn’t it? The summer is winding down and the past few weeks I have found myself lamenting that I didn’t get to give my kids the summer that I wanted. I wasn’t going to write about this, in fact my only plan was to take action and have an adventure filled summer all in the last two and a half weeks. But life happens. Just as I was mourning a last minute trip that we didn’t get to take, feeling sorry for myself and riddled with mom guilt, while the pup was throwing up for days and our camping trip left me covered in insect bites that kept me awake scratching for a week and a half, my adventure action plan was replaced with a trip to the vet emergency room for April and a trip to Urgent Care for me. That week that I wanted to adventure I spent making the dog bland diet foods and administering her medications while scratching my hands, feet, and arms in between naps, Benadryl, and prednisone. By the end of last week when my swelling went down and I stopped looking like I had monkey pox, I looked at my 11 year old and said, “Did you have a good summer?” and he enthusiastically replied, “Yes!” I wondered how that could be? We barely did anything! We only made it to the beach a handful of times. Our trip to Florida was so long ago at this point that it feels like it happened last year rather than in June. So as I pondered I asked what his favorite part was and if there was anything he still wanted to do. The only thing he still wanted to do was go to the arcade. My sweet child. And then I thought, man do I overcomplicate things! While I sit in my head thinking of all the grand things we could do to give our kids an epic summer, they are already having a great time. They don’t really care about the trips or the busy or any of the stuff that I decide we can’t live without doing (thanks social media). What makes a great summer to them is so simple. They want to see their friends, jump off the pier, watch a movie, go to the basketball court for hours, have a Nintendo Switch Day with friends, get an ice cream, sleep in, bike around town, lay on the couch with a book, play for hours on end, scroll YouTube, I could go on and on. When I think back on my best summers, it was never about vacations or family time, my family didn’t do that. My best summers were filled with friends, the pool, the mall, biking, man hunt, monopoly, kickball, catching fireflies and sucking on tootsie roll pops. Do I want family time with all my people, oh something fierce! But at this stage, it is not all day every day. It takes an intentional planning and flexibility. These boys are longing for more independence, and while my mama heart is filled with guilt over not “doing” enough with them, their hearts are full because they are secure knowing that they have parents who love them, are here for them, are praying for them, and trusting them to fly just a little bit more. Since Logan’s response over his fantastic summer, I have since thrown out my mama guilt and I encourage you to as well. Mama guilt is not from the Lord, no. 1 John 3:20 says If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. God will never condemn us with mama guilt, that is something we do to ourselves. Throw it out, it doesn’t serve you or I well. It is time to live in freedom, with love and gratitude for all that we have. Be well my friends and enojoy the rest of your summer.
I'm a fire wife to Kenny, mom to 3 active boys ages 10, 8, 6. I love Jesus, my family, reading, writing, bible study, working out, cooking and baking, watching movies, listening to music, walking on the beach, laughing with friends, and eating bacon.
August 27, 2022 at 10:39 am