Life As A Fire Wife

It’s hard to believe it is almost the end of April already.  Our month, while it has been filled with everything I have written about, has also been filled with many things I have not written about as I have been thinking and processing, quietly and privately. From March 30-April 9, I wrote in my journal, everything that I couldn’t type. While I am not going to go back and account for every detail, I do want to share with you our lives over that 12 day period.

On March 30th, Kenny got a call from work that a patient that he transported tested positive for Covid-19 and that he needed to quarantine. He called me that afternoon and we discussed possible living arrangements as we awaited further instruction. Finally, he was able to come home, and thankfully we have a finished basement that he would live in for the following 12 days.

We had much rearranging to do as we were just getting settled into our routine of doing school at home, half of which we did in the basement. Over the next few days, Kenny, with gloves on brought as much of the things we needed upstairs as possible, mostly sliding them into the kitchen through the basement door: instruments, printer, games, school supplies, and on my end I lysoled these things as best as I could.

Every day, Kenny needed to take his temperature. I asked him several times a day how he was feeling. We mostly waited. Waited for him to develop symptoms and waited for the 12 days to be over.

Most of those 12 days were rainy or cold. Out of the 12 days, we got 2 gorgeous days to sit outside together, 6 feet a part, while Kenny had a mask on. That’s when he showed me how to use the grill and we got to ponder all the yard projects we wanted to do.

I Became incredibly thankful that my kids are old enough to help out. Sharing cooking with Evan and putting Christopher  and Logan in charge of dishes was a huge asset. The only chore I could not do was laundry as it is in the basement. Kenny said that as long as he was symptom free, I could throw the laundry down the stairs and he would take care of it. The first time I did it, he said, “that’s a lot of laundry.” To which I replied, “welcome to my life.”

I stayed up late far too often during those 12 days because I didn’t want to go to sleep without him. Instead, my new late night buddy became Jimmy Fallon, until it became quite clear that sleep was much more of a necessity, especially after my day grocery shopping in the freezing rain and then getting sick that night, my ah-ha moment that I did not have a back up plan and that I HAD to take care of myself to take care of my kids.

I trust you Jesus became my daily prayer as I got out of bed in the morning and before I went to bed at night. A lot of days I couldn’t utter more of a prayer than that. I trust you Jesus with my life. I trust you Jesus with my husband’s life. I trust you Jesus with my kids. I trust you Jesus with our family. I trust you no matter what.

We both had our days of ups and downs. With no symptoms, I’m sure isolation in the basement sounds like a dream come true. I would love me some isolation in the basement right about now, for 8, 12, 24 hours. But 12 days was a lot. Some days we talked and laughed via face time or phone call, other days we were quiet and sad.

We enjoyed some face time dates, watching our favorite shows together, watching his favorite performer Garth Brooks put on a concert. We  watched church and Master Builders with the boys via face time. We prayed as a family via face time every night.

We all struggled through the 12 days. As much as I tried to be strong for our kids, they were not without struggle and those struggles came out differently in each of them. I don’t think I got much alone time during those 12 days as I tried to be constantly available. Our oldest who loves to spend lots of time in his room began to spend all his time in the living room. Our middle who asks 5 billion questions a day doubled that number, and our youngest who is 100% mama’s boy, broke my heart when he said everyday that he missed his daddy.

Although Kenny was down in the basement, he may as well have been living someplace else entirely. He was exposed and his goal was to protect the four of us, no matter what. That was hard and I did not make it easy when I threatened to go down those stairs for a hug.

I learned a lot about myself and my family during those 12 days. My husband sacrifices for us on a daily basis being on the front lines these days and other days in general as a fire fighter. Our kids are kind, smart, and gentle souls. I am stronger than I give myself credit for.

Kenny has been back at work since Easter Sunday, April 12. We are happy to report that he never had any symptoms and remained healthy during his 12 days of quarantine. The world keeps changing as the situation keeps evolving. We continue to pray for his safety and protection as well as for everyone else on the front lines. As we are approaching the peak, the shifts that he works remain stressful on all of us. I used to just think about his safety in a fire, but truly this is so much more intense and unknown. I am thankful for my faith and my God. I know that His plan is bigger and better than anything I could ever imagine and I trust Him with my husbands life every day.

While I am doing my best to process those 12 days still and as I look ahead to a sea of unknowns, I am trying to focus on gratitude and being thankful for all the Lord has done. Even in the midst of crisis, even in the midst of a global pandemic, God is on the move, and he is doing mighty things. So, please stay home, and watch God at work.

Be well.