The other day I bundled myself up, got my dog and went for a “rage walk.” I just made that up but it felt right, still does. I was raging at my people internally. Raging at how things were going on the home front. Raging at all the things that weren’t getting done. Raging at all the things I wanted to get done. Yup, I was raging. My boiling blood needed to simmer and cool and it was a cold day. Fresh air, cardio, and prayer was exactly what I needed.

I got down to the seawall and quietly prayed, pouring my heart out to the Lord. Telling him all the things that were wrong with everyone. Right then and there he tugged on my heart. He said, “Stop.” He said, “Be still.” He said, “Let it go.” He said, “Just be.” He said, “It’s not yours to fix.” I took pause. How can I let it go? How can I just be? How can I… Wait, He’s right. It’s not my job to do the fixing. That’s God’s job. Pause. Tears filled my eyes and I choked back tears. It’s not my job to do the fixing. Stop. Be still.

I meditated on this for the duration of the two miles. I didn’t want to go into the Christmas season raging. If I did, I would be missing the purpose of the season. I would be missing Jesus. He didn’t come so I could sit and stew and rage in my sin. He came to save me from my sins. He came to be the light of the world. He came to be Messiah, savior. He didn’t come so I could rush around for the next 4 weeks shopping, wrapping, going broke, doing all the things. No. Have you heard the song “Silent Night?” “All is calm. All is bright.” “Sleep in heavenly peace.” The Advent season is about anticipating the birth of the savior, Jesus Christ. Calm. Quiet. Still. Peaceful. Joyful. Reflective.

At the end of my walk, I sat on a bench for a few minutes and thought about the kind of Christmas season I wanted to live. I took out my phone and created a notepad titled, “unrushed/unbusy Christmas.” If you look at any one of my calendars, you would see that the month of December in my house is busy. My schedule may be busy, but my mind doesn’t need to be chaotic. No. This December, I will not rush. I will slow down. I will look for Jesus in the moments… So what will make me feel less rushed and less busy? Living intentionally and using my time well. Not overloading my to do list. Meal planning so I’m not rushed at dinner time. Eliminating clutter so I’m not looking around feeling overstimulated about all the things that need to be cleaned. What things scream December at me, things that bring joy, calm, and peace to this Christmas season? I’ll share some of my list with you: Advent devotions, advent calendar, intentional time each day, baking, crafts, puzzles, games, time to curl up and read, watching Christmas movies, to name a few.

This morning I got up, on this first day of December and read a really good advent devotional. The author directed me to meditate on John 8:12, “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” I read this verse to each of my teenagers this morning with a challenge, how can you shine for Jesus today? How can you be light in the darkness? I sat in this truth today, that Jesus is the light of the world. Even though we may turn on the tv and hear and see terrible things that are going on in the world, that’s not the end game. Jesus came to be the light of the world and for those who follow him, who call him their savior, we also walk in the light because we are in Him, we have a personal relationship with him. He is a gift to the world and this first day of December, he is the only gift that I want to focus on.