I want to be part of the solution and not part of the problem. This is the phrase that is currently taking up space in my brain. So often we hear of a problem and we talk about it. We talk it to death. We talk about who, what, where, when, why, and how. We talk and talk and talk. We come up with ideas of what we would do if we were running the show and we talk about how people can do their jobs better. But in all of our talking it seems that sometimes we become part of the problem. The problem with all of this talking and talking and talking is that it makes things so complicated. I don’t need complicated in my life, remember, I’m trying to simplify.

When words aren’t coming directly from the source, things get complicated because we don’t know what is true and what is false. I don’t need false things taking up space in my brain, there’s enough swirling around up there as it is.

A few months back, I made a conscious decision that any gossip I heard would end with me. No matter who was sharing it or what it was, believable or not. I would not cause the flame to grow.

Every problem has a solution, but what I don’t always know is how to be part of the solution. All the talking can only get you so far. If it is too much talking it turns into gossip and that is never the solution. The only talking that will help bring about a solution is productive, problem solving, plan making kind of talk.

All of this does not disqualify the need for a rant or vent sometimes. But I’ve learned over the years not only to be careful with my words(which is an artform that will take a lifetime to master) but to also be careful with whom I share my words, my heart, and my life with. Know who your trusted people are, vent, spew, word vomit, pray. The depths of your heart are not meant to be shared with everyone. I’ve been that person. I appreciate transparency, but I’ve also been that person who has had her heart trampled on by others who I’m sure meant well but lacked a filter. The lack of a filter and empathy in others taught me to search my heart and truly know who my people are.

Simply put, pray, find your people, find the source, find out how to help be a part of the solution and not part of the problem, pray. Bookend everything in prayer, problems, solutions, relationships, all the good, all the bad, every little thing, every big thing too. God wants to hear it all. He wants your heart and he wants to have a personal relationship with you.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. Ephesians 4:29

A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. Proverbs 11:13

Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. 2 Timothy 2:16

Heavenly father, thank you for friendship. Thank you that you designed us to be in relationship with one another. Lord help me in my relationships to speak words that are life giving and that build others up and not tear anyone down. Lord help me to be strong and not give in to gossip. I pray that you would strengthen me in my convictions. I pray in all of this that if and when problems arise, that you would help me to be part of the solution and not part of the problem. If anyone reading this is struggling with friendships or gossip please help them. And if anyone reading this doesn’t know you, I pray you would reveal yourself to them. Thank you that you are good and faithful always. Amen.