Travel back in time with me to 1995. Things were a lot simpler back then weren’t they? Toy Story hit theatres and was the first entirely computer animated film ever, Beanie Babies were the new collectible toy, the final episode of Full House aired, Brad Pitt was named People’s sexiest man alive, and Alanis Morissette hit the airwaves with her album Jagged Little Pill. Teenage Girls everywhere could sing at the top of their lungs with all their angst and rage to You Outta Know.

There were many great songs on this album; Hand in Your Pocket, Head Over Feet, Ironic… Lately I’ve been hearing You Learn on the radio and on Spotify a lot. It’s funny how you can listen to a song you sang all the time as a kid and it feels and sounds different as an adult. It was a good song in 1995 when I was 14/15, but as I listen to the lyrics as a gulp, 42 year old, they hit differently…

You live, you learn

You love, you learn,

You cry, you learn

You lose, you learn

You bleed, you learn

You scream, you learn

You grieve, you learn

You choke, you learn

You laugh, you learn

You pray, you learn

You ask, you learn

You live, you learn.

The past few weeks, this has been on my mind, but I couldn’t quite put it into words. I’m still struggling to put in into words. Maybe it’s on my mind because I’m getting older. Or maybe because I’m raising teenagers… We are always growing older. And as we live this life we make choices about a jillion times a day. The choices I made in my 42 years brought me to where I am today. The choices I make today impact my future, my health, my family, my relationships. You live, you learn. As long as I’m living, I should be learning. That’s life. It’s a hard pill to swallow as a parent, knowing that some of my greatest learning came from my greatest screw ups-you live, you learn. I don’t want that for my kids-the big screw ups-but I do want them to experience life and live and learn. Of course not everything I learned came from a screw up-some came from heart ache and grief too. You grieve, you learn. You cry, you learn. And not all my screw ups and growth happened in my teenage years. As an adult, as a mom, as a wife, as a friend, you live, you learn. Really, that’s why I’m here on this journey, because I’m learning that I want to live differently.

One of my boys wants to get his first job. He asked questions like, what if I don’t like it? I said, you’ll learn. You’ll learn maybe it’s not the job for you. Maybe you’ll learn to work really hard in school so you’ll have other choices and opportunities as an adult. You live, you learn.

It’s so simple when you think about it. Even if you don’t make the best choice, you can learn from it. With age comes life experience and hopefully wisdom. All the hypothetical hills I thought I’d die on as a young mother are not the black and white to me that they once were. Life is different now. We are no longer thinking about the teenage years, we are in them. My kids are growing and I guess I am too. And with that, we live and learn. If we are bringing it back to simple and bringing it back to the family unit, what my teenagers need from me is simple-it’s love, support, understanding, an ear to listen, a face and voice that doesn’t judge, a hug once in awhile, and to simply know that I am here and that my love is unconditional.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5

A new command I give you; Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34

I did not make new goals for today. I’m working on yesterday’s goals and will park myself there for the week. Let’s keep it simple.

Dear God in Heaven, thank you for this beautiful day that you gave me. Thank you for my family and for my friends. Thank you Lord that you can and will use anything you desire to speak to our hearts, because you are God. Thank you that you are good all the time, even when things in our lives aren’t good. Lord I pray that you will show me in those times and in those moments that even then, you are working. I pray that you will work in my heart. I pray that you will work in the hearts of anyone reading this or anyone I know who is having a hard day, who is struggling, who feels stuck, who is going through something and doesn’t see the other side yet. I pray that you would bring them your comfort and peace, that you would let them know that they don’t have to be in control, because you are. I pray for anyone who needs better boundaries in their lives with family members, that you would help them to set that in place in a loving way. Lord I pray that as I pursue this journey to simple, that I would do it for your kingdom. In Jesus name amen.