Today I fired my tooth fairy. She really sucks at her job. It is really very simple. Child loses tooth so tooth fairy goes into child’s room and places $1 under sleeping child’s pillow. Easy peasy right?!
This mama really needs a sweet little pixie to fly into her house, sprinkle some pixie dust with her magic wand and do the job for her, FOR REAL!
I’m sorry, but once my sweet little cherubs have stopped wrestling and burping for the day and are finally tucked into their beds, all sweet and innocent- MY BRAIN SHUTS DOWN. I am no longer capable of performing any mommy related tasks. Give me a book or a hallmark movie with a cup of tea or a bowl of chocolate and I’m mush.
2 times in the last 7 days, my tooth fairy failed. This is how it all went down.
7 year old came home from school last week and informed me he lost his tooth, but then lost his tooth(like didn’t bring it home, it was gone, just like his water bottle, his daddy’s water bottle, his baseball cap, etc etc). “Will the tooth fairy come even though I don’t have my tooth?” He innocently asked. “I guess we will just have to wait and see,” I told him. The next morning, daddy gets home from his 24 hour shift, we are all waking up and I realize, oh no! I sneak into his room, place $1 under his pillow and sneak back out. I strolled out into the living room and asked him if the tooth fairy came and he said, “Oh, I forgot!!” He runs into his room, climbs his ladder to the top bunk, finds a dollar, instant happiness. I pat myself on the back for a job well done, thankful for my absent minded professor.
Fast forward to yesterday, 7 year old comes home from school, lost another tooth, but didn’t lose it this time. Perfect storm right here. He just lost a tooth, he shouldn’t be losing another one already. Husband looks at me and says, “I don’t have $1.” I say, no worries babe, I got this one.
And then 7 year old comes into the bathroom this morning while I am in the shower and says, “the tooth fairy didn’t come.” Um uh, “Oh, really?! Are you sure?” I ask. My guy is so disappointed, so I promise I will help him look as soon as I get dressed. I end my shower real quick, get dressed, get child 2 and 3 settled at the table with breakfast, sneak $1 into my pocket and say, “I’m going to get some clothes for your brother, I’ll be out in a minute.” I sneak into the room, place $1 under the covers, get the clothes and join the boys in the kitchen.
After breakfast I tell child number 2, let’s go look in your bed. He says, “I looked under my pillow already, it’s not there, she didn’t come.” So I say, “Well did you look on the other side of your bed? You know you move around a lot in your sleep, it could be anywhere!” He moved his blanket out of the way and instant relief, there was $1.
As I’m writing this, I realize that I am lying to my child a lot in the last week. I also realize that I still have one more kid who has not lost any teeth yet. I’M IN OVER MY HEAD, PLEASE HELP MY TIRED BRAIN! And please send pixie dust.
May 4, 2017 at 11:22 am
I think you’re rockin it. My twin cousin 7 year old lost his shoes. All 3 pairs. How can that be possible? Of course the first 2 stores didn’t have his size. Finally Target rescued me. At first I innocently picked out a pair with Spider-Man. The kid plays Spider-Man, watches Spider-Man but what does he say to Spider-Man on his shoes? “Mom, I’m in 2nd grade. 2nd graders don’t wear superheroes on their shoes. That’s for babies.” And my life flashed before my eyes because apparently he’s all grown up yet still remains the absent minded professor who can’t keep track of his shoes.