Life As A Fire Wife

You don’t really grasp what this means in the moment, the days are long but the years are short. You spend so much time wishing away certain stages that when you look back you realize that those were some of the best moments of your life. Can you relate? My hubby got held at work on Saturday and I had myself a little pity party. It looked like we would not go apple picking this year. Then I had myself a bigger pity party when the thought crossed my mind that our oldest boy has one year of high school left and next year could be our last year apple picking as a family of 5 before he goes to college. This tradition that we created, I don’t know, maybe 14 or 15 years ago, may be coming to a close. That is hard stuff for a mama’s heart, especially when mama is already not in a great place. I dwelled in that place for a little bit, until I started thinking about what I was thinking about. It’s funny how you can be thinking about things you don’t want to think about, but you just do, because the brain is weird like that. What’s weirder is that you can actually stop thinking about things you don’t want to think about and replace them with things you do want to think about. I knew I needed to get in a better head space so I went to my room and grabbed my bible. I grabbed my journal and pen and wrote down some verses about contentment and then I spent some time with Jesus, praying through what I had just read and asking him to help me with my head space, to focus on the right things. Instead of focusing on what I didn’t have at the moment and what I wasn’t going to get to do, to focus on Him, to seek his Kingdom, and to see how blessed I am. Then I could finally breathe.

Sunday, all 5 of us were home in the afternoon, though we were kind of doing our own thing for a bit, it was nice to just know my people were home. I got to watch my middle boy play in two basketball games this weekend, took a beautiful walk with my youngest boy and our dog, we made it to the pumpkin patch that we go to every year to pick out pumpkins, and enjoyed a nice dinner out with family and friends. Time is going by fast, things are changing at a rapid pace, but I can take comfort in knowing my Lord and Savior is the same yesterday, today, and forever, that He meets me where I am at, that he is a God of forgiveness, mercy, and grace, and that His plans are better than anything I can ask, think or imagine. Maybe we will have the chance to go apple picking next weekend, maybe not, but regardless, I’m so blessed.

Verses that helped me though the headspace I was in… And if you need a song to help get you through, go listen to Cain- I’m so Blessed. I don’t think anyone could stay in a funk after listening to this song!

Proverbs 13:25 The righteous eat to their hearts content but the stomach of the wicked goes hungry.

Philipians 4:11-12 I am not saying this because I am in need for I have learned to be content with whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty of in want.

1 Timothy 6:8 But if we have food and clothing we will be content with that.

1 Timothy 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.

Hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you.